when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
