i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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