we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
