is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
