You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
