I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
