I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
