im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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