She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
