so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
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I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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