Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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