that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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