I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
