There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
