but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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