Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
