we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My nipple is on Facebook.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
