Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize