This house was built for laser tag.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
