But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
