They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
