I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
