At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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