btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize