so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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