you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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