I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
