my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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