eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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