But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
