someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
