trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
