my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
