Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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