Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
