So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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