Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize