She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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