This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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