Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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