Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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