I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
