Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
