my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
