I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no you cant smoke seaweed
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
