This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
