You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
