I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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