Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
