I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
