i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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