i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
