How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
