so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my poor anus
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
