You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
