Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
third nipple confirmed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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