wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
