how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
