You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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