ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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