i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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