My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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